LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY GOOD FRIEND WALLABY JONES
SEE WALLABY’S A GOOD GUY, A REAL SQUARE FELLA
AND ONE TIME NASA WANTED HIM TO GO TO MARS WITH A BUNCHA ASTRONAUTS, THE DETAILS ARE HAZY BUT SOMETHIN’ ABOUT “ADDED SECURITY” AND “SERVICE TO HIS COUNTRY”
ANYWAY OL’ WALLABY IS SUPER EXCITED, GOES DOWN TO THE CORNER STORE
BUT THERE’S SOME PUNK KID THERE HASSLIN’ PEOPLE, SPILLS A LITTLE GIRL’S MILKSHAKE AND MAKES HER CRY, YOU KNOW THE DRILL
AND OL’ WALLABY’S LIKE HEY BUDDY, WHY YA GOTTA BE SUCH A DICK, IT’S A SATURDAY
PUNK KID JUST LOOKS AT HIM AND SHOOTS HIM THE FINGER
THAT DID IT
WALLABY JUST STARES RIGHT AT THAT FINGER, AND SUDDENLY THE KID SCREAMS
HIS FINGER SEVERS ITSELF AND TURNS INTO A TINY KANGAROO, STARTS KICKING THE SHIT OUT OF HIM AND GROWING
SOON THE KID’S BEING WAILED ON IN THE MIDDLE OF A RESTAURANT BY A KANGAROO, MAY AS WELL BE THE SIZE OF A BUICK
AND AFTER LIKE 5 MINUTES OF THIS THE KANGAROO MAKES THIS WEIRD LIKE POPPING NOISE, SHRINKS BACK DOWN TO A FINGER, REATTACHES ITSELF, KID’S JUST SCREAMING
AND THEN… HIS FINGER GIVES HIM THE FINGER.
I KNOW RIGHT